In her memoir, Mariah Carey made a touching vow to her mother before her demise. The duo had a strained relationship that began when the singer was a child. Their clashes even filtered to Mariahs choice of spouse but never stopped the songstress from loving her mother.
In August 2024, Mariah Carey suffered double tragedies when she lost both her sister, Alison, 63, and her mother, Patricia, 87. They passed during the same weekend. Although the star is in mourning, she once revealed that she and her mother had a tumultuous relationship.
Mariah Carey performs in Australia on January 1, 1990 | Source: Getty Images
While mourning, the 55-year-old singer released a statement about the loss. She confirmed the news, saying, “My heart is broken that Ive lost my mother this past weekend.”
“Sadly, in a tragic turn of events, my sister lost her life on the same day,” she said. The Grammy Award-winning singer revealed that she saw her mother recently before she passed.
The star said, “I feel blessed that I was able to spend the last week with my mom before she passed.” She concluded her message by sharing her appreciation for the love and support shes received and the “respect for my privacy during this impossible time.”
Mariah and her late mother had a long-standing, complicated relationship. In her 2020 book, “The Meaning of Mariah Carey,” the star revealed that there was a time in her early childhood when “I didnt believe I was worthy of being alive.”
The artist, who inherited her vocal talents from Patricia, explained that she was too young to consider suicide at the time. But was old enough to know that she hadnt started living or found where she belonged.
She hadnt seen others who looked like her or “reflected” what she felt inside. Her father, Alfred Roy, had what she described as “deeper skin and kinkier hair,” while her mother had “paler skin and straighter hair.”
Neither of her parents had the same facial features as hers. She recalled seeing them “riddled with regret, hostages of a sequence of cruel circumstances.” Her older sister, Alison, and older brother, Morgan, were browner but also “darker, and not just in terms of the hues of their skin.”
Mariah felt her siblings had a similar dense energy that “seemed to block light.” The older siblings were averse to their younger sisters tendency for fantasy and all things whimsical.
Mariah Carey and her daughter at the Hollywood Bowl on November 18, 2023 | Source: Instagram/mariahcarey
Despite sharing the same blood, the singer felt like a stranger and an intruder in her own family. The repeated abuse she endured from her family led her to escape or cut them off. She described them as being “deeply significant” to her story but not “central to my existence.”
Removing herself from her loved ones, whom she described as “toxic,” wasnt easy for the vocalist. But through therapy and prayer, she eventually found the courage. Yet, she still couldnt find an “artful way” to let her mother go.
At the time she wrote the book, Mariah said her relationship with Patricia was “anything but simple.” She described their relationship as akin to a “prickly rope of pride, pain, shame, gratitude, jealousy, admiration, and disappointment.”
The artist felt a “complicated love” tethered her heart to her mothers. But, the pair bonded over their love for music. Patricia trained as an opera singer at Juilliard, and when her daughter listened as she did her vocal exercises, her frightened young mind felt soothed.
Mariah Carey at the Hollywood Bowl on November 18, 2023 | Source: Instagram/mariahcarey
When Mariah sang tunes around the house, it delighted her mother, who always encouraged her. Around the age of three, she sang back the aria from the opera “Rigoletto” in perfect Italian when her mother kept stumbling on one part, stunning Patricia.
At that moment, her mother finally saw her as more than a little girl but as Mariah, the musician.
Mariah Carey at the Hollywood Bowl on November 18, 2023 | Source: Instagram/mariahcarey
Coming from a dysfunctional background, the songstress knew she had to heal herself and her inner child. Despite growing up in a dysfunctional and messy childhood, she still tried to keep her inner child alive.
She credited her mother for introducing her to music and for imparting a positive mindset of believing she would make it. But the positive things she got from Patricia conflicted with how the parent would say Mariah should only hope to be half the singer she was.
The words had a big effect on the singer, who believed her mother wouldnt remember saying them. Since that damning statement stayed with her, Mariah ensured that she raised her children differently.
She acknowledges their talents when they draw pictures for her, sing and dance, or do anything creative. The star is determined that her twins know they and their happiness matters.
Mariah also ensures theyre safe and feel seen and heard. She gives them unconditional love and makes sure they know shell be there for them no matter what. With Patricia, a shift happened where she was made to feel like her competition and a threat.
Their previous bond evolved into them being tethered by a “shared biology and social obligation.” The star felt that although she wasnt half the singer her mother was, she was “a whole singer and artist.”
The relationship between Mariah and Patricia was a story of “betrayal and beauty,” a tale of “love and abandonment,” and “sacrifice and survival.” Although Mariah freed herself from bondage several times, a cloud of sadness hung over her.
She suspected it would always remain there. With time, shes learned that theres no point in trying to protect people who never tried to do the same for her. Motherhood and time allowed her to grow into herself.
Mariah Carey and Tommy Mottola during their wedding at St Thomas Episcopal Church/Metropolitan Club in New York City, on June 5, 1993 | Source: Getty Images
Patricia also disapproved of her daughter marrying a Black man, the father of her children and now ex-husband, Nick Cannon. Mariah said her mother saw it as an “abomination” and the “ultimate humiliation.”
Patricia marrying Alfred was “beyond betrayal” to her own mother. It was seen as a crime against Mariahs grandmothers White heritage and led to Patricias disownment. Loving Alfred made Mariahs mother a “bottom feeder” in her grandmothers eyes.
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon during their wedding vows renewal ceremony on April 27, 2012, in Paris, France | Source: Getty Images
The parent had procreated with “the lowest human group,” making “mulatto,” or multiracial children. Despite the strained relationship between Mariah and Patricia, the mother repeatedly told her as a child, “Youve always been the light of my life.”
Sure enough, the artist wished to be that and also wanted to make her mother proud. The famous mother of two respected her late parent as a “singer and a working mother.” She confessed to having loved Patricia deeply.
Patricia Hickey, Mariah Carey, and Moroccan and Monroe Cannon as Mariah is Mariah Carey honoured with star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, in Los Angeles, on August 5, 2015 | Source: Getty Images
As a child, Mariah also wanted her parent to be her safe space, but more than that, she wished to believe her words. Despite their strained relationship, the songstress made a touching opening dedication to Patricia in her memoir.
She wrote, “And to Pat, my mother, who, through it all, I do believe actually did the best she could.” The star vowed, “I will love you the best I can, always.” People who read the dedication were moved.
One person said, “There are some pretty cra ppy (sic) mothers out there. Sorry. Its (sic) unbelievable to me some of the things I hear…Who treats their children that way?!? Truly unbelievable.”
Someone who sympathized with the star wrote, “I think Mariah had a dreadful upbringing and we don’t know the half of it.” A third person felt, “All a child of such an upbringing can do is set whatever boundaries they need to set in order to survive, then move on, thrive and–most important–be a better parent themselves.”
Patricia Hickey, Mariah Carey, and Moroccan and Monroe Cannon as Mariah is Mariah Carey honoured with star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, in Los Angeles, on August 5, 2015 | Source: Getty Images
AmoMama sends our condolences to Mariah and her family amidst this difficult time. May they find strength in one another, through friends and their communities.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “help” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
